Archive for March, 2010

Mother?

You suffered
Suffered

SUFFERED
at her hand.

We watched,
Waited,

WORRIED
helpless with bound hands.

They let her
torture            you,
neglect           you,
harm               you,
damage          you,
starve              you,
DISCARD        YOU,
ABANDON     YOU,

scar you

for life.

Allowed it under the guise of “mother”
Allowed it under the terms of the court
Allowed it under the system
Allowed it right under their noses.

How could they not?
Couldn’t she act so well
For a few moments?
She was so good, so savvy, so sly, so slick…

so sick.

But how could they not see
how ill,
how demented,
how twisted
when all they had to do was look?

Open

their eyes and see
a tormented child?

We fought for your life.
We fought for your childhood.
We fought for your adulthood.

Made every sacrifice.
Made ANY sacrifice.
Made ALL there was to sacrifice.
That’s what parents do

GOOD ones.

Never a doubt.
Never a refusal
Never a retreat in our
MISSION.

We paid the price.
Any price.
All price.
For years
and years and years and years and years

And now…

so have my girls.

Wendy Fiore

Joy

You stand next to the bed
looking down at me
as I grasp for moments of rest to
recoup from the week…
What do you see?
Do you see any remnants
of the girl you used to know
or
just
the shriveled old woman
taking control of my body
My life?
Does it kill the spark?
Destroy the joy
that used to come so
Readily?
Is there a still a
flicker or glimmer
that you used to have
for me?

Work
Labor
Toil
Exhausts.
When will your heart
P
A
L
E
at the sight of your love?

Am I your love
Still?
You reach down to pull the covers
over me
tucking me in
securely
gently
lovingly.
JOY
Someday soon I’ll feel
rested
enough to make you feel
joy
a sparkle
something to make you
remember why
you love me?

Wendy Fiore, 2010

Instead

On the day I was born

Mama walked into the hospital wheeling a suitcase behind her
lay down in the bed

and waited.

On the day I was born

Mama laughed with Daddy and Mere
and waited

for me.

On the day I was born…

the moment I was born
Mama heard me cry

waited

for the nurses to bring me over to her.
She heard them wheel me
out
to the nursery
crying

instead.

On the day I was born

the nurses wheeled my mama back to her room
lay her down in the bed

and she waited.

On the day I was born

I cried in the operating room,
I cried in the hallway,
I cried in the nurse’s arms,
I cried in the nursery.

On the day I was born,

I cried…

until the moment

the nurse
placed me in my mama’s arms

and Mama

cried

…instead

Wendy Fiore, 2010

Teach…our children well…

“Test! Test! Test!”

“Push! Push! Push!”

You tiny little seed
so full of life and

POTENTIAL…

Am I filling your
LIFE
with energy
and
POSSIBILITY

or

Am I sucking you dry
ripping your little
roots out of the dirt

daily

to check

to see

if you’ve grown yet?

Seriously???

Uh-huh…and what happens to men????

# Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling
# Irregular heart beat
# Irritability
# Mood swings, sudden tears (wasn’t this puberty?)
# Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats) (pregnancy, childbirth, and caring for the infant should have prepared us…)
# Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding
(SERIOUSLY? “Flooding”???); phantom periods, shorter cycles,
longer cycles
# Loss of libido (duh…)
# Dry vagina (see above…do we even need a wet one??)
# Crashing fatigue (CRASHING??)
# Anxiety, feeling ill at ease (who wouldn’t? Have seen this list??)
# Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
# Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion (didn’t that come with pregnancy, breast feeding, mothering, etc.?)
# Disturbing memory lapses (that’s an understatement)
# Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence (because it was SO much while pregnant, we figured we’d just keep it.)
# Itchy, crawly skin
# Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons
# Increased tension in muscles
# Breast tenderness
# Headache change: increase or decrease
# Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea (again, because during pregnancy it was so much fun? What is it with this list??)
# Sudden bouts of bloat
# Depression (I’m depressed just reading this list…)
# Exacerbation of existing conditions (uh, yeah…)
# Increase in allergies
# Weight gain (a LOT of weight gain)
# Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair
# Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
# Changes in body odor
# Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head (What??)
# Tingling in the extremities
# Gum problems, increased bleeding
# Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in
breath odor
# Osteoporosis (after several years) (The only symptom advertised…)
# Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier
# Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, ‘whooshing,’ buzzing etc.

Seriously…is it even worth growing old?

Bah, humbug!

Mo(u)rning

Morning comes to coax me~
It calls as if to mourn.
Early morning dew falling from my eyes

Calling to my conscious

the grief that never dies.
I drink a cup of brewed memories
Their taste a bitter concoction~

I awaken.
And die, just enough to survive

Wendy Fiore & Sarahi Almonte

My SocialVibe

Please consider donating any little bit you can to the Children’s Miracle Network via the SocialVibe link on my blog.  All children are so important to me.Children’s Miracle Network is a non-profit organization that raises funds for more than 170 children’s hospitals. Countless individuals, organizations and media partners unite with Children’s Miracle Network hospitals to help sick and injured kids in local communities. Donations to Children’s Miracle Network create miracles by funding medical care, research and education that saves and improves the lives of 17 million children each year.

Every child deserves the hope and healing of children’s hospitals. With the help of a Children’s Miracle Network hospital in their community, children of all ages and backgrounds can receive treatment for every imaginable disease and injury—from asthma and broken bones to cancer and heart defects. Children’s hospitals are also on the front lines of research, education and outreach programs that keep millions of kids out of the hospital each year.

Must Move

You mention it…

again

and my world spins

out of control.

You say it …

with such enthusiasm,

your whole world

finally coming together.

So I question, if leaving,

if moving,

will make you happy

completely

then what have I

offered you

all these years?

Wendy Fiore

I am…

I am a teacher. I am a lifetime learner. I am old and experienced. I am naive. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend. I am nothing special. I am spectacular. I am nothing without words.

Wendy Fiore

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